Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Possible Goals

Here begins my quest to develop meaningful goals. I've had the chance to ponder my core personality traits and have come up with some interesting thoughts.

Most dormant lately: Artist and Explorer
Since having a baby, a lot of my hobbies have been put aside and I find most of my days are spent feeding and trying to get the little one to nap. Such luxuries as art and travel are very low on the list of priorities. However, I feel that these sides of me can still be expressed in little ways, perhaps by involving my little one somehow or taking something I do anyway, and giving it a creative twist.

Most intriguing at this time: Homebody/Hostess
Probably because I have been spending so much time at home lately, I am increasingly aware of how it appears, how comfortable, how inviting. Interior design is something I have always been interested in, so I am constantly restyling my surroundings. With the little one, this has also become more important. What type of environment do I want her to grow up in? What makes this feel like home?

Most resistant toward: Student/Inquisitor
I have always had a push/pull in being with other people. I like people, I enjoy being around people and learning about them, asking questions, helping out... however, I am very introverted. I do not talk often and find it difficult to make friends. I do not want this to effect my daughter. At this age it is up to me to introduce her to people and potential friends. I feel an obligation to go to mommy groups and community events, but have been resisting it because it is just so unnatural for me. I am still unsure how to categorize this one; it is something I am working on.

So, these are the core personality traits that I will begin to develop habits for, such as...

Possible goals for the Artist:
Craft a book of memories for my daughter
Learn how to sew clothes for my daughter

Possible goals for the Explorer:
Do something spontaneous once a week
Find unique baby-friendly places

Possible goals for the Homebody/Hostess:
Find ways to make home more cozy and inviting
Bake once a week from fresh, yummy ingredients

Possible goals for the Student/Inquisitor:
Be brave and go to mommy groups
Be brave and find ways to get to know the neighbors

My Core Personality Traits


First, a quick word. My family has been visiting the past couple weeks and I completely dropped my gratitude goal. Of course I was thankful for so many things over the duration of their visit, but I neglected to write them down, and haven't even thought of visiting this blog. Clearly this is a problem. Was I too busy? Not motivated enough? Simply not interested? Yes, yes and yes. (although, I never ever ever like to use "busy" as an excuse). However, I think the biggest reason why I stopped is that it is not important enough for me at this time. So, in order to be successful, I need to delve into the things that are deeply important to me. Maybe I will end up dropping the goal, maybe I will modify it... we'll see.

In order to be more careful and efficient and inspired with my choice of habits, I have chosen to go back to square one and start by defining my core personality traits.

This is an initial list. I realize there are overlaps and it most certainly isn't perfect (the titles need some help) but it feels good, it feels like me, the me that I want to be and the me that I already am.

1. The Artist
Keywords: design, painting, colour, creativity, craft, using my hands, cooking, baking, beautiful materials, texture, touch, senses, messiness

2. The Homebody/Hostess
Keywords: coziness, inviting, warmth, rusticity, coffee, a good meal, dessert, indulgence, farmers markets, cuddling, creature comforts, pillows, blankets

3. The Daydreamer
Keywords: relaxing, leisure, quietness, simplicity, nature, flowers, gardens, slow, calm, enjoying the moment

4. The Optimist/Child
Keywords: smiles, big belly laughs, silly, candid, whimsy, hope, optimism, mother, child, innocence, joy

5. The Student/Inquisitor
Keywords: learning, asking, listening, being around people, community, open-minded, kind, respectful

6. The Yogi/Poet
Keywords: introspective, contemplative, reflection, aware, attentive, growth, yoga, stretching, walking, hiking, thoughtful, patient, calm, careful, grace, refined

7. The Explorer
Keywords: spontaneity, adventure, travel, being in new places, taking detours, independence, free spirit, curiosity, wonder, awe

Future goals and habits will come directly from this list. Super motivated now! Looking forward to contemplating this and returning for the next post.

Monday, July 22, 2013

Day 12 Gratitude

Today I am grateful for

1. When I am breastfeeding and the little one gives a big smile. Feeding these days has been trying. Anyone who has had challenges in baby feeding will understand. In such a vulnerable position, the little things become really really big things.

2. Having a tidy home. My life has seen many messy times, to my embarrassment and dismay. But now that I live in a larger home, and am extremely careful about bringing new things into the home, everything seems to fit perfectly and it is easy to keep tidy. Tidy home equals tidy mind.

3. The great outdoors. While the little one was fussing today, I took her out to the backyard and she almost instantly calmed down, bobbleheading her head in awe. I believe it's something about the light shining through the trees. Does it every time.

Saturday, July 20, 2013

Day 11 Gratitude

Today I am grateful for:

1. Reuniting with old friends.

2. Kids birthday parties, (even if they are getting out of hand!).

3. Long car rides.

Can you tell, today we took a long car ride to a kid's birthday party of some old friends. It was a nice day, full of laughter, cute kids and cupcakes!

Friday, July 19, 2013

Day 10 Gratitude

Today I am grateful for:

1. Baking these muffins. They were scrumptious, and turned out exactly as shown in the photo. That NEVER happens.

2. Laughs. Before today, my daughter had laughed twice at most (one incident was questionable). Today she laughed for real, three or four times. The sweetest sound I ever did hear.

3. Introspection. I've been making a list of all the things I truly enjoy and value, in an effort to discover my core personality traits. It's such a fun exercise and should be ready to share soon!

Personality-Based Goals

I've recently been reading a very interesting series of articles by Steve Pavlina about choosing your goals. In "Do Your Goals Conflict with Your Personality?" he points out that the traditional method of categorizing goals (health, work, finance, etc.) can quickly lead you astray, because the goals are not aligned with the things that motivate you.

This has me thinking. I have read before that in order to be successful with goals, there needs to be a deeply meaningful reason behind it. For example, saying "I want to run every morning" is not enough. It is obviously more effective to say "I want to run every morning because I value being fit, it makes me feel strong, it clears my mind to set me up for a great day..." whatever the reason, it has to strike a deeper cord within. But, this article suggests to start with the values and build goals out of them. For example, again, instead of saying "I want to run every morning," you might say "One of my core personality traits is a Champion; this side of me could be satisfied by running every morning."

Of course it gets deeper as you start to mix and match your core personality traits, but the gist is that your goals should express your personality rather than conflict with it.

Meraki: To do something with soul, creativity, or love - See more at: http://darlingmagazine.org/all-articles/page/6/#sthash.xdtsFABK.dpuf
Meraki: To do something with soul, creativity, or love - See more at: http://darlingmagazine.org/all-articles/page/6/#sthash.xdtsFABK.dpuf
Today I'll be working on my list of core personality traits. I've been thinking a lot about what habits I'd like to do in the future; I might also like to overlap them. So, this is a great place to start.

Thursday, July 18, 2013

Day 9 Gratitude

Today I am grateful for

1. "Dream a Little Dream of Me" specifically the version by Dala. I've been singing this wonderful little song all day.

2. Our Skip Hop Play Mat. I needed to eat some actual meals today. While cooking, this play mat kept the little one entertained, even though she doesn't really know what to do with it yet. By the way, hubs calls it "the arches of neglect." I call it "the arches of independence."

3. Bacon. Total hipster cliche, I know I know. But it really elevates a lot of otherwise boring meals.

Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Day 8 Gratitude

Today I am grateful for:

1. My Mother. I have always been fairly close to my Mom, but since having my own child, I feel we have become even closer. Unfortunately, we are separated by a short plane ride (or a really long car ride), so we don't see each other as often as I would like. However, we do have nice long conversations over the phone several times a week. I love this Mom time. She always has an open ear and is ready to offer sound advice, without being pushy or disrespectful towards my own opinions if they differ.

2. When I say something quietly and lovingly to my daughter and she gives a big smile. I expect her to smile when I'm goofy or boisterous, but it's less expected when I'm quiet. I think it shows a deeper, more instinctual level of understanding. What a beautiful moment.

3. Spaghetti. Simple and delicious. Wonderful for when the hubster is working late and I feel like having a 'real' dinner.

Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Day 7 Gratitude

I've been running into a lot of articles lately regarding habits, gratitude, and happiness. The Habits of Happiness posted at Zen Habits is especially timely. One of my favourite feel-good blogs, he lists gratefulness as one of four essential habits in his life. The others include "help someone," "Meditate," and "Exercise." These are core habits. In developing them, other habits will fall into place more easily. It is interesting to look at this goal in a more long-term perspective. It is also scary. But that's a whole other ballgame.

I'm so happy to be falling into these articles. So much motivation.

Today I'm grateful for:

1. Taking the little one for a walk. Sometimes we don't get out too much. Our family shares one car, which hubs often takes to work, so going out becomes a huge ordeal. But going out for walks is nice. Little one loves being outside and today was just beautiful.

2. Songza! Especially the Sweet Lullabies playlist. It has come to my aid a number of times now. The best thing about this playlist - I actually enjoy a lot of the songs! They are not too baby-ish.

3. Eggs. I had to give up dairy because the little one appears to have a sensitivity to milk proteins. I realize eggs are also high up on the list of possible sensitivities, but I went for it today. A bit of an experiment perhaps? I forgot all about my previous addiction to grilled cheese because egg on toast made the perfect quick lunch today. If it goes okay, I may graduate to egg on toast... with bacon! and tomato! and avocado! Delicious.

Monday, July 15, 2013

Day 6 Gratitude

I am so so so grateful for:

1. Hubby. We just celebrated our 1 year anniversary. During this time, we hit a lot of milestones: we bought a new home, we traveled and biggest of all, we brought a new little life into the world. I cannot imagine taking this ride with anyone else.

2. Coffee. I really look forward to my morning cuppa. nuff said.

3. My new watch! Finally I can tell what time it is all by myself! (without having to rummage for my phone)

Saturday, July 13, 2013

Day 5 Gratitude

Today I am grateful.

1. I am feeling an overwhelming degree of gratitude towards our daughter right now. Our little one is amazing. Of course I am biased. Of course I would say nothing but the best of my child. But, I actually really mean it. Her main temperaments are: super chill or big smiles. Sure we have had a few trying times, but nothing that doesn't pass quickly. She sleeps from 11:30 to 6:30 every night, give or take 30 minutes. I try hard not to brag too much, especially around those I know are having the all-too-common sleep issues. I keep quiet, but inside, I am so proud. Feeling so much love right now.

2. Board game night with friends. hanging out, getting to know each other better. ps. I won!

3. Friends pets. I have never had a pet, except for fish when I was a kid. They didn't last long, though. But I always enjoy friends pets. It's also really cool to see how our little one responds to them.

Thursday, July 11, 2013

Day 4 Gratitude

Part of the success of habits and blogging is a matter of time. I came into this personal challenge thinking it would be a morning task, every morning, around the same time. But, life gets in the way. Always. And needs change. And you have to adjust. For this particular goal, it seems to make more sense to record the things I am grateful for at night, before bed, as a beautiful conclusion to the day. This also gives me all day to be aware and take note. My eyes, mind and heart really do seem more attentive to the little things, even though I've just begun. I will do anything to make this work.

I will talk more later about how I plan to make this habit stick. For now, my idea is to buy a beautiful notebook and pen them in before bed. Simple and lovely.

Today, I was grateful for:

1. A quick visit with family passing through town. My little one got to meet her uncle (my bro)! It's so special to see her interact with family, and how my family interacts with her. Especially the guys. Girls usually go ga ga over babies, but guys are a little less predictable. It was really sweet to see my brother chatting it up with my honey, calling her a hungry hippo, making funny faces.

2. My child asleep in my arms. How her body has a little extra weight. Her feet flop back and forth as I walk her upstairs. Her hair tickles my face.

3. Leftover pasta. We made penne with sausages and peppers last night. It was delicious then, but even more delicious tonight, as the depth of sauce really thickened. And it was especially nice to not have to make dinner.

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Day 3 Gratitude

Today I am grateful for:

1. Morning free time. Before having the little one, I would sleep as late as possible every day. I had never been a morning person. But now, I get up around 6:30, feed my babe, and do my thing while she goes back to sleep. Sometimes I will nap next to her if she's fussing (another favourite moment), but I'll mover her into the crib and get up shortly after. I really cherish this little slice of me time.

Actually, this morning time is what inspired me to develop new habits and start this blog. I was spending most mornings watching tv, interneting, being totally unproductive. I kept thinking it would be nice to spend this time exercising or organizing or working on a creative project. I'm so happy to see my thinking turn into doing.

2. Midnight giggles. Sometimes I get the giggles. Usually late at night, while hubby is trying to get to sleep. It's hilarious and gives me the biggest feel good vibes ever.

3. Socks. My toes are cold.

Tuesday, July 9, 2013

Day 2 Gratitude

I always love how when you start thinking about something, it begins to show up everywhere. After deciding that gratitude would be the first habit I wanted to develop, this beautiful article showed up via a train of random blogs.

Like the writer of this article, I too have been writing a lot of thank you notes recently. This past year I both got married and had a baby and the amount of gifts we have received has been overwhelming. But it has also been wonderful. Gifts have a way of bringing people closer together; I have been constantly amazed by how many people have reached out, even people we hardly know. This sort of kindness is most certainly contagious. I used to believe that gift giving is a little artificial, but I have a different attitude about it now. I don't believe gifts are an obligatory gesture, but rather a simple way to share the joy.

I'd like to come back to this article often as I walk through this goal, this goal of "counting blessings rather than sheep."

Today I am grateful for:

1. Good old fashioned hand-written, snail-mailed thank you notes. What a beautiful tradition.

2. Sunny summer mornings, the sun pouring in through the windows, the kitchen floor warmed by the sun, warming my feet.

3. Hubbies after shower smell.

Monday, July 8, 2013

Day 1 Gratitude

The first habit I have chosen to develop is gratitude. This is not a new idea. It may even be tired. But I think it is an important one, especially in this early stage, because hopefully it will build some strong roots, some whys, some loves.

I will be listing a few things every day that I am grateful for. I will list them here in order to stay accountable.

Here goes!

1. I am grateful for my new little one. When I go to her in the morning, her eyes grow wide and she gives me the biggest toothless grin. She truly lights up my life.

2. I am grateful for hubby's foot massages. Tonight he got a particular spot up near my pinky toe that cracked a little and felt oh so good.

3. I am grateful for new summer clothing. Being a new mom is tough, with a uniform made up primarily of pjs and sweats. Seeing new clothing in the closet is inspiring me to get dressed and go out more often, a small but important step in sanity maintenance.

Sunday, July 7, 2013

Back to Backer

So, yes, it's been a very very very long time. I have recently rediscovered the need/want to keep a blog. Since this is purely for my own interest I figured I may as well tag these posts onto a blog that I already started. This way I can focus on the why rather than getting bogged down with design-y details. By the way, I am a graphic designer, so I am conditioned to want to properly brand everything. You know, come up with a concept, a killer name, logo and entire package that speaks volumes, but in a single focused voice. Well, I don't expect my writing about goals in a blog to further my career prospects, so here I am, ready to go, easy peasy.

I want to emphasize that this blog is pour moi. It is about my goals, developing positive habits and sticking to them. If anyone happens to join me along the way, then great! I am always thrilled about the possibility of inspiring others. However, to keep me on track, I have consciously decided to care less about the looks of this blog. I know, I know, everyone is creating fancy customized wordpress blogs... do people even still call them blogs? I fully support this and most of the blogs I follow religiously are so beautiful I want to print up pages and frame them on my walls. But this is not that. Someday? Maybe. Who knows? But for now, I am just here to write, develop routines, and be accountable.

Talking about developing routines... this blog is an experiment in habit formation. Some might yawn. Been done before blah blah blah. But, I'm tackling it right here anyway, my way. I think it's pretty awesome to think how much my life could change (for the better!) just by making small tweaks here and there. It is said that you need only 21 days of doing something before it becomes a habit. So, I am going to choose a habit, do it for 21 days, and document my progress along the way.

Rules so far:

1. No photos. What?!?! Yes, I am a visual person. I thrive on creating images and packages. But in order for me to focus, write everyday, and actually accomplish something, I cannot be spending time on images. I am simply too much of a perfectionist. This is mind over matter. I know if anybody does land on this blog, they will probably pass it by because there are no images (I would!). But, again, this is not for them. It is for me. It is my selfish little spot where I can write and learn and become a better, stronger person.

2. Write 5 days a week. No explanation needed. Just do it.

3. Be honest. This is a tough one for me. I think it's easier to be someone else when no one is watching. Even looking at my Pinterest board, I can't help but think - is this the true me? Is this who I aspire to be? Or, is this just some imaginary person that I think is really cool, has lots of money and a ton of time on her hands? I like to think it is a combination of me and my aspirations, but I'm not so sure. Everyone has a multitude of personalities and contradictions. But, I strive to be honest in this space. I strive to be my best self, a combination of who I am today, who I was yesterday, and who I aspire to be in the future.